Letter 2: To My Crush
4th July 10
Dear Mariah Carey,
Please divorce Nick Cannon.
Love,
Your future lesbian lover
Dear Mariah Carey,
Please divorce Nick Cannon.
Love,
Your future lesbian lover
Dear Jamie,
I think the only actual letters I’ve ever written to you were back in elementary school, when your parents sent you away to camp and you were forced to suffer 8 long weeks of toilet-cleaning and other horrendous chores. I’m sure that’s not actually what they had you doing all day, but you made the experience sound like living in Miss Hannigan’s orphanage from Annie. My favorite part about those letters was the fact that you would simultaneously attempt to convince me to accompany you the following year to what was apparently a fly-infested shithole that functioned as a labor camp for Jewish girls who wore designer clothing at age 7.
It wasn’t the best marketing technique.
Somehow we survived those summers apart, and then four years of high school apart, and now separate college careers apart. We’re in separate states, even! We were supposed to be living in a cabin in the woods by now, cooking up potions, reading by candlelight, and washing our hair with sample packets of Pantene Pro-V. All those years spent saving up for it and look where we ended up: going to school! living in actual buildings! with running water! and real food!
It’s kind of amazing, when you think about it, that we managed to stay best friends for 13 years. Between my mother’s feelings about yours, and the fact that she always refused to drive me to your house, and the fact that no one was allowed in ours… okay, really, I think that (almost) every obstacle we faced came down to Venus in the end. Aside from that criminalizing notebook. Leave it to Venus to have a problem with absolutely everything except 12-year-olds cursing and drawing pornographic pictures. Stealing that notebook back for us was definitely one of her finest moments. I think it deserves a Life on Venus entry at some point.
The high school years have some of their own dramatic highlights — ones I should probably only allude to — but we managed those with (relative) ease. For a lot of friends, keeping in touch during college is probably the hardest part of maintaining a friendship, but it didn’t hit us as hard as we thought it would. After all, we had a good 10 years worth of experience in that department, considering the fact that there was always someone or something that threatened our friendship. But that just goes to show that you can’t mess with witch hunters.
There’s hardly a soul on the planet that will understand that last line.
Love,
Your BFF(AEUWDOML)
This is going to be a project blog for different blogging challenges, reading challenges, and creative projects I’m doing. The first two challenges I’m going to post about are:
1. Reading at least one Sherlock Holmes story a day until I’ve gone through them all. I will be using DailyLit to complete this challenge.
2. The 30 day letter challenge:
Letter 1 — Your Best Friend
Letter 2 — Your Crush
Letter 3 — Your parents
Letter 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
Letter 5 — Your dreams
Letter 6 — A stranger
Letter 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Letter 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Letter 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Letter 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Letter 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Letter 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Letter 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Letter 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Letter 15 — The person you miss the most
Letter 16 — Someone who is not in your state/country
Letter 17 — Someone from your childhood
Letter 18 — The person who you wish you could be
Letter 19 — Someone who pesters your mind—good or bad
Letter 20 — The one who broke your heart the hardest
Letter 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Letter 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Letter 23 — The last person you kissed
Letter 24 — The person who gave you your favorite memory
Letter 25 — The person you know who is going through the worst of times
Letter 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Letter 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Letter 28 — Someone who changed your life
Letter 29 — The person who you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Letter 30 — Your reflection in the mirror
